Is the meaning of life something we discover once and for all, like a treasure buried deep underground? Or is it more like a river—constantly flowing, changing its course, and adapting to the landscape?
I remember evenings as a young man when I would look at the stars, convinced there was a single, definitive answer to the question, “Why am I here?” I believed that once I found it, everything would become clear, and my life would take on a steady, unwavering direction. Life, however, quickly challenged those youthful ideas.
When I became a father, my world shrank to the size of a small crib and the scent of baby oil, and the meaning of life redefined itself in caring for a helpless being. But the real earthquake came later. When my marriage fell apart and I was left alone with three children, I felt the ground give way beneath my feet. In an instant, the meaning I had built over the years—the role of a partner, our shared plans, stability—crumbled like a house of cards.
In those moments of chaos and pain, I asked myself: Does this mean my life has lost its meaning? Or has its meaning simply changed form? Instead of building a life together as a couple, my purpose became to be a rock for my children, a guide through their emotional storms, and also—to my surprise—a journey back to myself. I rediscovered passions I had shelved for years and understood that a crisis doesn’t have to be an end, but can be a painful, yet necessary, beginning of a new chapter.
Today, I know that the meaning of life isn’t a static point on a map that we strive for. It is a living process. It changes with us, evolving to the rhythm of our experiences, successes, and, above all, our failures. What drives us at twenty may not matter at forty. What gives us strength in times of peace may not be enough when the storm hits.
In this article, I invite you on a shared journey through the different stages of life and the challenges that force us to redefine what is important. We will consider why flexibility in our approach to meaning is the key to mental resilience and how to find purpose when the old maps no longer fit the new territory. Sit comfortably, take a deep breath, and let’s look together at the fascinating, fluid nature of our existence.
The Meaning of Life at Different Stages
Our journey in search of meaning is not a straight line. It is more like a spiral that we circle, returning to the same fundamental questions, but each time from a different perspective. Each stage of life equips us with new tools, presents us with different tasks, and sheds a different light on what we consider important.
1. Childhood and Youth: Discovering the World and Ourselves
Think of a child watching with fascination as an ant carries a crumb. In that moment, in their small universe, nothing else matters. The meaning is pure curiosity, absorbing the world with all senses, asking questions that adults often don’t have answers to. In childhood and early youth, the meaning of life is synonymous with discovery. The psychologist Erik Erikson described this period as a time of building fundamental trust in the world and shaping one’s own identity. We are not looking for grand, ultimate goals then. The goal is the experience itself—learning to ride a bike, a first friendship, the taste of a first kiss.
Watching my children, I have seen and continue to see this every day. Their meaning of life has been found in building complex structures with blocks or tinkering, and lately in the joy of playing soccer, taking photographs, or making movies. It is a time when meaning is not the burden of philosophical reflection, but a natural driving force that pushes us to explore boundaries—both physical and those in our minds. This is the foundation upon which we will build more complex structures of meaning in the future.
2. Adulthood: Responsibility and Achieving Goals
Adulthood greets us with specific tasks and roles. The meaning of life
ceases to be an abstract idea and becomes a list of daily duties: a job to pay the bills, building a home, raising children. It is a time when our “I” often gives way to “we.” We find meaning in responsibility for others—for a partner, for children, for a team at work. We fulfill ourselves by creating, building, and caring for what we have created.
It is during this period that it is easiest to lose ourselves in a thicket of expectations—social, familial, and our own. The pressure to succeed, the need for stability, and the daily routine can make us forget to ask if what we are doing is still in line with who we are. However, this is also a time when relationships take on incredible depth. The famous Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has lasted for over 80 years, has shown unequivocally that it is not wealth or fame, but the quality of our relationships that is the strongest predictor of happiness and a sense of meaning in adult life. When my life was turned upside down, it was focusing on my relationship with my children—on their needs, fears, and joys—that became my anchor. I found meaning not in grand plans for the future, but in simply being present, here and now, for them.
3. Aging and Reflection: Legacy and Wisdom
As the pace of life slows and the children leave the nest, a new space for reflection emerges. The questions about meaning return, but in a different form. Instead of “What can I acquire?” we begin to ask, “What will I leave behind?” The meaning of life shifts towards legacy—not necessarily material. It is about the values we have passed on, the stories we have told, the mark we have left on the hearts of others.
This is a time when we can finally look at our lives from a distance and try to connect the dots, seeing meaning in events that once seemed chaotic and painful. Viktor Frankl, who found meaning in the darkest corners of Auschwitz, wrote that life never ceases to have meaning. Even in the face of suffering and approaching death, we can give it meaning through the attitude we adopt. Late adulthood is an invitation to become a mentor, a repository of wisdom for younger generations. Meaning becomes acceptance, letting go, and gratitude for the entire journey, with all its twists and turns. It is a quiet understanding that it was not about reaching the destination, but about the beauty of the journey itself. But this period is still ahead of me.
Crises as Catalysts for a Change in Meaning
Ideally, our lives would run smoothly, and our sense of meaning would evolve naturally and painlessly. However, reality rarely follows the ideal script. More often, it is the sudden shocks—the moments when our world comes crashing down—that force us to stop and ask the questions we would rather avoid. Crises, though painful, are powerful catalysts for change. It is in their fire that a new, deeper meaning is often forged.
1. Personal Crises: Loss, Divorce, and Redefining the Self
Losing a job, the breakdown of a marriage, illness, or the death of a loved one—these are watershed moments. In an instant, we lose not only what we had, but often who we were. When the role that defined our life (husband, employee, caregiver) suddenly disappears or changes drastically, a void appears. It is a painful space, but paradoxically, one full of potential.
I remember perfectly the moment I felt the ground slipping from under my feet. My wife leaving was not just an emotional blow, but a logistical earthquake. I was left alone with three children, a joint business, and a house to manage. Initially, my only goal was survival—making sure the children felt safe, that the bills were paid. But over time, in this new, difficult reality, something new began to sprout.
I understood that the old meaning of my life, based on the vision of a “complete family” in the traditional sense, had ceased to exist. I had to build it anew. Paradoxically, it was this crisis that became the impetus to discover passions I had previously pushed aside. I returned to writing, took up web design, and above all, built a relationship with my children of a depth I probably would not have achieved in “safe” conditions. The crisis forced me to re-evaluate everything. It taught me that meaning can be found not in what we lose, but in how we respond to loss.
The psychology of post-traumatic growth confirms this phenomenon. Studies show that people who have gone through traumatic experiences often report a greater appreciation for life, deeper relationships with others, and a stronger sense of personal power. The pain does not magically disappear, but it ceases to be pointless—it becomes the foundation of a new identity.
2. Global Crises: When the World Calls Our Bluff
Sometimes it is not our personal lives, but the world around us that becomes unstable. Pandemics, wars, social unrest, climate change—these are events that pull us out of the ruts of everyday life. When the external markers of success and stability disappear, we are left alone with ourselves.
Many of us experienced a forced restriction of our freedom during the pandemic. Isolation, fear for our health, and uncertainty about the future made the questions about meaning louder than ever. We saw an increase in interest in spirituality, meditation, and a return to nature. When “having” became more difficult or less important, we began to look for meaning in “being.”
Global shocks remind us of our fragility, but also of our interdependence. They teach us that the meaning of life can extend beyond our individual “I.” It can lie in helping a neighbor, in caring for the local community, in concern for the planet. External crises force us to redefine what we call success. Is it another digit in our bank account, or the feeling that we are part of the solution, not the problem?
In both the personal and global dimensions, a crisis is like a storm. It can destroy the old house, but it reveals the foundations on which we can build something more durable, more authentic, and—most importantly—more our own.
How to Find Meaning in Changing Circumstances
Knowing that the meaning of life is fluid is one thing. But how do we practically find it anew when we stand at a crossroads and the old map no longer fits the terrain? Change can be overwhelming, but we have tools that help transform chaos into clarity and regain a sense of control. It’s not about magic solutions, but about conscious, small steps that bring us back to ourselves.
1. Mindfulness: Anchoring in the Present
When the future is uncertain and the past is painful, our minds tend to wander between fear and regret. Mindfulness is the practice of returning to the only moment in which we truly exist—the now. It’s not about ignoring problems, but about giving ourselves a break from the mental noise.
- A Simple Exercise: Sit in silence for five minutes. Focus all your attention on your breath—feel the air enter and leave your body. When your mind starts to wander (and it will), gently, without judgment, bring it back to your breath. This simple practice teaches us that we are not our thoughts and fears. It creates a space where we can see that even in difficult times, life is still happening, and meaning can be found in the simple fact of being.
2. Journaling: A Conversation with Yourself
Writing down your thoughts is one of the most powerful tools for organizing inner chaos. A journal becomes a safe space where you can uncensoredly release pain, fear, and anger, but also discover the quiet whispers of hope and gratitude.
- Gratitude Journal: Every evening, write down three things you are grateful for. At first, this can be difficult, especially in a crisis. But even the smallest things—a warm cup of tea, a child’s smile, a moment of silence—remind us that good still exists. This exercise shifts our brain from a “what’s missing” mode to “what I already have.”
- Guiding Questions: If you don’t know where to start, answer these questions in writing:
- When did I last feel truly myself? What was I doing?
- What did the last difficult period teach me?
- If I didn’t have to worry about money or others’ opinions, what would I be doing right now?
3. Reflecting on Values: Your Inner Compass
In times of change, roles and goals can fall apart, but values remain. They are like an inner compass that always points to your personal north. When you don’t know which way to go, return to your values.
- Create a List of Values: Think about what is absolutely fundamental to you. Is it honesty, love, growth, freedom, security, or perhaps helping others? Choose your top 3-5.
- Turn Values into Action: Ask yourself, “How can I today, in this specific situation, live in accordance with my value, for example, growth?” This could mean reading a few pages of a book, signing up for an online course, or talking to someone who inspires you. Even the smallest step consistent with your values brings a huge sense of meaning and coherence. This is the approach drawn from Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy, which teaches that we find meaning by responding to life’s calls in a way that is consistent with what is most important to us.
Finding meaning in changing circumstances is not a one-time event, but a continuous practice. It is a conscious choice of mindfulness over worry, of dialogue with oneself instead of escaping into noise, and of fidelity to an inner compass when the outer world is spinning. Each of these steps restores power to where it belongs—back in your hands.
Conclusion: Meaning as a Process, Not a Destination
We have reached the end of our shared reflection on the fluid nature of meaning. We have journeyed through the different stages of life—from childhood curiosity, through adult responsibility, to the wisdom of maturity. We have seen how crises, though painful, become powerful catalysts for change, forcing us to abandon old maps and draw new ones.
If we were to take one thought with us from this journey, let it be this: the meaning of life is not something we discover once and for all, but something we build and redefine every day. It is not a fixed harbor we are heading for, but the journey itself on the often-stormy sea of existence. It is a dance between who we are and who we can become.
Today, I know I don’t have to have one, final answer. Instead, I am learning to find meaning in small steps, in being present for my children, in pursuing a passion that brings me joy, and in accepting that tomorrow I may feel differently. And that’s okay. This fluidity is not a sign of weakness, but of strength and adaptability. It is an agreement to let life shape us.
So do not be afraid to ask yourself questions, even if the answers seem distant. Do not fear change, because it is in change that the opportunity for deeper self-knowledge is hidden. Embrace your journey with all its twists and uncertainties. Because ultimately, meaning is not about reaching the destination, but about the courage to set out on the road anew each day.
And how do you find meaning in changing circumstances? Share your story in a comment—perhaps it will become an inspiration for someone who needs it right now.
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AI Disclosure
I see my thoughts as the essence, much like the soul, and AI helps me give them form. It supports me with research, translation, and organizing ideas, but every perspective is my own. Curious how I use AI? Read more here.
