Spirituality often feels like something distant, reserved for mystics or philosophers, not for us—people grappling with daily chaos, work, and responsibilities. For a long time, I didn’t pay much attention to it, treating it as something happening “alongside” real life. Over time, however, I realized that spirituality can mean something entirely different for each of us. There are over eight billion souls on this planet, and each one follows their own unique path—you can find my thoughts on this in the post 8 Billion Souls, 8 Billion Paths: Why Spirituality is Unique for Everyone. If you’re wondering whether you need a guide, be sure to read about what it means to be your own guide on this path, which is why I also encourage you to check out Be Your Own Guru.
As for my own path, everything changed the moment life forced me to come to a sudden halt and reevaluate everything I took for granted. I understood then that spirituality isn’t an escape from reality or a set of rigid rules. It is a deeply personal journey inward, one that looks different for everyone. This post is my story—a tale of how my biggest life crisis became an unexpected catalyst for awakening consciousness. I want to share with you how the road through pain and loss led me to find peace, hoping it might inspire you to ask yourself: what is this journey for you?
The Turning Point: When Life Forces You to Search for Deeper Meaning
My journey started at the end—the end of my marriage. My wife leaving was like an earthquake that shattered the foundations of my world. In an instant, everything I knew and relied on was gone. What remained was emptiness, pain, and an overwhelming sense of being lost. It was in that darkness, searching for any foothold, that I had to start asking myself questions I had previously avoided. Who am I without this relationship? What gives my life meaning?
This experience became the reason I started this blog. Writing was my way of organizing my thoughts, an attempt to understand what was happening, and a means to share the process of rediscovering myself. If you want to learn more about how this blog came to be and the genesis of my journey, I invite you to read In Search of Meaning: Why This Blog Was Created. I had no idea that this painful moment would mark the beginning of the most important journey of my life—a journey into my own spirituality. It showed me that the biggest crises, though destructive, can open doors to profound transformation.
First Steps: From Quantum Physics to the Power of Breath
When I started looking for answers, I stumbled upon the book The Physics of the Soul by Amit Goswami. It directed my attention to the fascinating concept of consciousness and its role in our lives. I realized that the inner world is just as real and powerful as the outer one, and the key to change lies in consciously observing it. That was my first step toward spirituality—not as a belief in something external, but as an exploration of my own mind.
From theory, I quickly moved to practice. I began discovering mindfulness, which turned out to be surprisingly simple yet incredibly effective. I learned to meditate to calm my racing thoughts. In moments of greatest stress and anxiety, I turned to breathing techniques that allowed me to anchor myself in the present and regain control over my emotions. These simple tools became my life raft. They helped me survive the hardest times, giving me the strength to deal with pain constructively rather than destructively. You can read more about how mindfulness practices, breathwork, and self-work helped me get through the crisis in the article How Mindfulness, Breathwork, and Self-Work Helped Me Survive My Breakup. If you want to dive even deeper and learn how mindfulness helps transform crisis into growth, I also recommend Mindfulness Beyond the Basics: How to Use Awareness to Transform Crisis into Growth.
Discovering Consciousness: Meeting the Ego and the Soul
As I delved deeper into mindfulness practice, my definition of spirituality began to crystallize. I realized that for me, it is the process of consciously discovering what is happening in my head and heart. It is the continuous observation of thoughts, emotions, and reactions without judging them. Previously, I simply was my thoughts; now, I was learning to notice them.
This process inevitably led me to confront my ego. I realized how often it was the ego taking control, feeding on fear, resentment, and the need to be a victim. That ego whispered that I wasn’t enough, that I had been wronged, and that the world was unfair. Learning to recognize this voice became crucial—if you want to know when the ego starts harming your life, I recommend my other article When Does Ego Harm Your Life?. Equally important for me was the ability to name the signals of the ego taking control in everyday life—I wrote a practical guide on this: How to Recognize When Ego Takes Control: A Practical Guide. I understood that the ego, while part of us, often blocks our access to our deeper nature—to what some call the soul.
Only when I started taming my ego did space for peace appear. I discovered that the suffering of the ego is loud and dramatic, while the peace of the soul is quiet and subtle. Spirituality became for me the art of distinguishing between these two voices and consciously choosing which one to follow.
Spirituality in Practice: Values, Boundaries, and Everyday Joy
I quickly understood that spirituality isn’t an escape from life, but quite the opposite—it’s a way to experience it more fully and consciously. My inner journey began to manifest outwardly. Instead of drifting through life, I started navigating by an internal compass built on values I discovered within myself.
A guiding principle for me became treating others as I wish to be treated—never doing to someone what I wouldn’t want for myself. Empathy, good intention, patience, and humility became my signposts.
I learned to forgive—both myself for the mistakes I made, and my ex-wife, which freed me from the burden of resentment.
If you want to explore this topic, be sure to read The Power of Forgiveness: Healing Yourself and Others. At the same time, I realized how crucial it is to set healthy boundaries so I can love and help others without losing myself in the process—you can read more about this in another post of mine: Boundaries and the Ego: How to Love Without Letting Yourself Be Used.
Spirituality, as I understand it, is also about celebrating life here and now. It’s the joy of spending time with my children and being a fully present witness to their growing up. It’s appreciating the little things—the taste of morning coffee, the warmth of the sun on my face, a moment of silence. It’s finding a balance between deep inner work and joyful participation in the earthly experience.
Direction and Meaning: Why Are We Here?
Getting to know myself and looking deep into my own consciousness became a tool for me that not only helps discover the meaning of life but also actively creates it. Instead of waiting for meaning to be revealed to me, I understood that my task is to give meaning to my life through daily choices, actions, and intentions. In this way, I am simultaneously discovering it because it is given to us (essence) and bringing it to life—giving it form. If you want to delve into the reflection on whether we discover the meaning of life or create it ourselves, I recommend my article Discovering vs. Creating the Meaning of Life: Two Paths to Purpose.
I am of the opinion that spirituality exists to give us direction, to help us discover meaning and purpose, while life is there to realize it by living through it. That is why we must maintain a balance between spirituality and everyday life, so as not to lose ourselves in spirituality while neglecting life (more on this: Spirituality as a Guide, Not an Escape: Finding Balance in Everyday Life), because it might turn out that we will discover meaning—the essence—but we won’t create it—give it form.
This led me to a question that resonates with me to this day: what if we are here precisely so that our souls can experience and develop through physical life? Maybe pain, joy, love, and loss are lessons the soul couldn’t learn in another dimension? This perspective adds depth to every experience, even the most difficult ones.
Your Own Path
My story is just one of billions of possible examples of a spiritual journey. There is no single right way. What worked for me doesn’t have to resonate with you. The most important thing is that you dare to embark on this journey and become your own guide. For more on trusting your inner wisdom, read Be Your Own Guru, and for a celebration of individuality in spirituality, explore 8 Billion Souls, 8 Billion Paths: Why Spirituality is Unique for Everyone.
I encourage you to search, explore, and question. Don’t be afraid to look inside yourself, especially when life presents you with challenges. It is there, in the silence of your own consciousness, that you can find the answers.
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